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  1. #11
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    Some people think or pretend they are being helpful by trying to be honest. "No offense, but your wife has a bald spot". Or "wow, don't take this the wrong way, but that's a really small buck you shot". lol

    There's a time and a place for honesty, but sometimes if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In other words, shut up.

  2. #12
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    There is room for those types of prefaces on internet forums. You use them when you are giving somebody "tough love" advice, and are genuinely trying to help.

    For instance ... hypothetically speaking:

    If someone came on the forum with a rant about a terrible experience you could reply with:

    "Don't take this personally, but if you changed the tone of your posts you might get more helpful answers."

    Now the preface lets the poster know your advice is not about THEM but rather about POSTS. Without the preface, the intent of the advise is muddied up by the personal nature of the statement.

    It is no guarantee they will see the advise as you intended it, but they might indeed PERSONALLY be an apple-hole, and you can't do anything to help that.

    Now if you are being a jerk, but are using it just to make yourself look less like a jerk ... then you're just being a bigger jerk.

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  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bitterroot Bulls View Post
    There is room for those types of prefaces on internet forums. You use them when you are giving somebody "tough love" advice, and are genuinely trying to help.

    For instance ... hypothetically speaking:

    If someone came on the forum with a rant about a terrible experience you could reply with:

    "Don't take this personally, but if you changed the tone of your posts you might get more helpful answers."

    Now the preface lets the poster know your advice is not about THEM but rather about POSTS. Without the preface, the intent of the advise is muddied up by the personal nature of the statement.

    It is no guarantee they will see the advise as you intended it, but they might indeed PERSONALLY be an apple-hole, and you can't do anything to help that.

    Now if you are being a jerk, but are using it just to make yourself look less like a jerk ... then you're just being a bigger jerk.
    Hypothetically speaking, this post makes me LOL.
    My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.

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  6. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bitterroot Bulls View Post
    Now if you are being a jerk, but are using it just to make yourself look less like a jerk ... then you're just being a bigger jerk.
    Well said. I think that's part of what I was thinking too.

  7. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by packmule View Post
    If they find issue with the comments they obviously took it the wrong way. They were warned not to take it that way!
    LOL! I say stiff like that to my girlfriends brother all the time just to watch him look all confused while he is trying to think of a comeback! Doesnt mean I would recommend anyone else try it.

  8. #16
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    I think it's one of those "constructive criticism" things... which of course we know some people can handle and appreciate, and others get fuming mad and insulted.

    If you don't take constructive criticism well I'd interject and say "stop right there..."

  9. #17
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    This sounds a little like the "bless your heart" thing my wife and most of the south says... I personally think that its just trying to find a nice way to say something not so good. I don't use the saying, but have heard it numerous times and I think there are times when the saying may fit like... I know you drive a ____ (insert vehicle manufacturer), and no offense, but I don't like their engines. If you are talking about someone, then that is a different deal in my opinion.
    Now therefore, please take your weapons, your quiver and your bow, and go out to the field and hunt game for me.
    Genesis 27:3 (NKJV)

  10. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by tdcour View Post
    This sounds a little like the "bless your heart" thing my wife and most of the south says....
    That's the worst cut-down there is in the South!

  11. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fink View Post
    "I said with all due respect!!!" ~Ricky Bobby
    Hahahhahahha
    I don't Break the rules, I Modify them.

  12. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by NDHunter View Post
    I'm going a little off-topic today but hear me out.

    What does a person really mean when they say "not to be rude..." or "no offense but..." or "don't take this personal..."? If I say "don't take this personal but your wife is really ugly", how is a guy supposed to take that? It's totally personal so why would I expect a guy NOT to take it personally? Or if I say "no offense but you really suck at your job and should be fired." Assuming the guy thought he was good at his job, wouldn't a guy naturally find that offensive? I guess people are trying not to be mean but if you're going to tell a person something negative, you might as well just say it and not hide behind one of the phrases I mentioned. One of my colleagues recently made a "not to be rude" type of statement. I just don't get it. Nobody ever says "don't take this personal but you did a great job today." I would assume nobody ever says that because it makes absolutely no sense at all and yet people will do it in a negative way.

    Sorry fellas for my rant here. It's just something I've thought about for a while. Anybody care to chime in?

    I think you answered yourself. But don't take that the wrong way.
    I don't Break the rules, I Modify them.

 

 

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